words unearthed

if you know me very well, at all, you will find this anecdote both amusing and familiar: while searching for a completely unrelated item yesterday, i came across an old writing workbook. some things seemed worth publishing, so here goes: (i know, it's probably against everything that little, brown stands for, but i used two colons in the preceding sentence...shoot me). sometime in spring 2001: Anxiety about the next stage Breaks my Concentration Diminishes my sense of self Elevates my level of Frustration God is feeling far from my Heart I'm searching for the true Juxtaposition of life and love Keeping it inside Leaves me feeling alone Making everyone else a character Never makes me feel better Often out of sorts Plainly looking for answers Questions look for me Repeat themselves systematically Truth dances alone Understanding it all Veiling itself With my permission Xciting xtreme xccentricities Yearning for yin and yang Zap 5 October 2000 Aggravation Besets my soul Covered up, Defenseless Energy relinquished Featuring my angst, Gravity fails, Heart resigns I'm at a loss... Just set me free Keep me safe. Laughing Means Never Opening Presents to myself. Quietness quells Resentment. Statues feel more Tranquility. Underneath, Vibrance Waits. Xi minus Yin yang equals Zero. (no date, 2000-2001) Self worth Evades me Covers and shades me Reflections don't show me Except for in darkness Take all the memories Sort through them gently Remember Everything From the beginning Understand with my heart Grasp the things worth winning Evoke the best me People determine what Really they see Often they are wrong Given their view of me Repetition and reflection Even seem far from reach Show me the answers Show me to me 9 October 2000 Making new friends Old ones remain Visits abound Interests engage Never a loss Grieving is okay Remember the school bus Every day a new book Always in another world Discovering Innocence Needs Gratified Melancholy Understanding Smart Inside Credibility