alphapoemorama, part deux

Arrogance Brings forth Confusion Determining Everyone else's Fortune Grieves me Harangues me Intrigues me Jostles my mind Kindred spirits Leave me Mystified Needing Openness Placation Quivers Reminds me of Stupid Things I've Unlearned Vigilance Wasted by eXcavating Your presence in my Zoo of memories.

alphapoemarama

After 12 hours Becoming what I loathe Could it hurt anymore? Determined to overcome Excedrin is my friend Finish me off Give my daughter the shot! Help me to my bed Is that all there is? Just help me sleep Keep me Lingering Meanwhile Nudge me Onward and upward Praying like there's no tomorrow Questions answered Reminding myself of You Studying Teaching Understanding Wondering eXamining You Zealously.

Entertaining Angels

would it not be amazing to discover that, unbeknownst to you, you had entertained angels at some point in your life? or that you had been an angel to someone else? wow. i have decided to open my mind up, officially, to the possibility of a move and/or career modification. and my official position is that if someone wants to hire me and needs an answer from me when i am not prepared to give them one, then i will tell them to ask their question of someone else and to make their decision notwithstanding my response. so there. i have been having these weird episodes of what feels like arrested circulation and weird fluctuations in body temperature. i'm too young for the change, right? i certainly like to think so. tonight was our last night in the study of hebrews. what an amazing journey. i need to go back and read all my notes and just camp on them for days. so it stays fresh. i bought the new lee ann womack CD, and it's amazing. it's called there's more where that came from and everything about it is designed like an old country record from the sixties/seventies. photography, songs and graphic design. i love it. i called a friend of mine the other night while he was playing on the Grammys to check in and, as an aside, to give him permission to tell jamie foxx that i, indeed, would go out with him, if he asked. some people can do everything. i must go now as i am about to fall out of my chair with fatigue. have had bad headaches too. will check back in with the doctor tomorrow.

Sometimes, You Just Know

So, I have been down with fever and achiness since Wednesday last, and today, as I was singing in church, it occurred to me that God had taken me out of work for those few days to prevent me from acting rashly in a very uncomfortable work situation. I truly believe that. God weakened my body to strengthen my spirit. And my resolve. The previous week and a half had been very stressful because I had been required to leave my students and my co-teacher with a less-than-humane group of people posing as educators and caregivers. And upon my return, I tragically realized that in that short four days, they had retrained themselves, using their basic instincts, to respond only to people who scream at, threaten or otherwise dominate them into submission, at whatever the cost. And I was allowing myself to be retrained by them to become one of those malicious attackers. I just saw one of my little students at the local Mexican food dive, and she shyly asked me, "Maestra, when are you going to be able to come with us?", and my heart melted. They know the difference. Thanks to God for delivering us all from the horrible aftershock of their experience a few weeks ago. Tomorrow, we return, refreshed, revived and rededicated.

100 Things I Want In A Partner

created on 14 november 2004 1. a Christian 2. strong spiritual leader 3. positivity 4. financially sound 5. a lover of books 6. a great lover 7. adventuresomeness 8. likes to communicate 9. inspires me 10. challenges me 11. environmentally conscious 12. understanding 13. enjoys travel 14. loves people 15. faithfulness 16. supportive 17. thoughtful 18. enjoys writing 19. encourager 20. peaceful 21. assertive 22. admirable 23. strong values 24. God-given 25. kindness 26. healthy 27. not sarcastic 28. healthy perspective 29. sense of humour 30. enjoys films 31. good listener 32. not an addict 33. full of joy 34. likes touch 35. likes coffee shops 36. stillness 37. provocative 38. communicator 39. musical talent 40. a great writer 41. strong hands 42. great kisser 43. knowing eyes 44. pretty teeth 45. great hair 46. loves my family 47. interested in me 48. likes to drive 49. speaks spanish 50. (edit) curious 51. willing to counsel 52. not a hoarder 53. spiritually adept 54. knows me 55. defender of honour 56. great father 57. good with tools 58. passionate 59. forward-thinking 60. not sports-obsessed 61. good leader 62. nurturing 63. tolerates me 64. empathetic 65. sympathetic 66. learns from mistakes 67. understands loyalty 68. sensitive 69. enjoys great wine 70. loves to create 71. enjoys cooking 72. seeks new opportunities 73. respects my space 74. respects my privacy 75. respects my alone time 76. not jealous 77. trusting 78. complimentary 79. complementary 80. public displays of affection okay 81. sensible 82. well-balanced 83. energetic 84. awe-inspiring 85. loves God 86. full of good ideas 87. sense of urgency 88. directness 89. focused 90. literate 91. aware 92. mission-minded 93. emotionally intelligent 94. connected 95. expressive of feelings 96. open-hearted 97. sense of self 98. good self-esteem 99. confidence 100. in love with me

100 Things That Turn Me On

so, recently, i purchased a book that is supposed to inspire people like me who like to journal to greater heights of creativity. one of the chapters is called "lists of 100". and it suggests thinking of a category and then making a list of 100 things that belong in that category. quickly. here is the first one i did, dated 6 november 2004: (in no particular order, except for the order they came to my mind) 1. a great song 2. joy 3. beautifully written books 4. intelligence 5. nice wine 6. beautiful art 7. pens 8. God's love for me 9. a sexy man 10. talent 11. humility 12. perseverance 13. initiative 14. surprises 15. beautiful weather 16. the smell of a fireplace 17. solitude 18. traveling 19. learning 20. laughter 21. a singing voice 22. flirting 23. (edit) 24. massage 25. sweating 26. new makeup 27. lipstick 28. good coffee 29. sunsets 30. oceans 31. great food 32. martinis 33. passion 34. compassion 35. softness 36. xanax 37. salt and pepper hair 38. (edit) 39. (edit) 40. singing 41. writing 42. glancing 43. france 44. studying 45. knowing 46. new people 47. helping 48. serving 49. cooking 50. hot teas 51. my eyes 52. french kissing 53. chili 54. numbers 55. teaching 56. anticipating 57. courtship 58. forgiveness 59. spontaneity 60. pretty curtains 61. painting 62. writing haiku 63. smart kids 64. kindness 65. my eyebrows 66. hot lipstick 67. sheryl crow 68. memories 69. mexico 70. speaking spanish 71. learning italian 72. a fan blowing on me 73. skin on skin 74. hand on my back 75. enrique 76. memories of philippe 77. my sense of self 78. learning about the Bible 79. verbal sparring 80. power 81. being well 82. recognizing talent 83. soft sheets 84. good pillows 85. holding hands 86. walking 87. yoga 88. listening 89. sweet potato pie 90. helping parents 91. new pens 92. cohesiveness 93. real butter 94. great coffee 95. a day in the sun 96. being warm 97. scarves 98. hats 99. nice shoes 100. love