clowns are people, too!

  what is there to say about this bus ride? we had enjoyed our few hours of escape in san miguel de allende, and we needed a little rest on the 2 hour bus ride back to san felipe. send in the clowns. and our brief peace was shattered. 

yo y clarinete el payaso

   

encouragement

isn't it amazing that one of the kindest, most appreciated gifts that you can give someone is completely free? i have received more than my share of encouragement in the past few months, from people very close to me as well as from people who are close to people who are close to me. and most recently, from a group of esteemed complete strangers. last week, i was told that i have been chosen, one of five, to participate in a very cool Masters' Level Creative Writing program created by The Dallas Writers' Garret (www.writersgarret.org) called Writers' CAMP (Community Authors Mentorship Program. From their brochure, I copy: Writers' CAMP is a non-credit creative writing program developed by The Writers' Garret for writers who want intensive study in poetry, fiction, creative nonfiction or playwriting. CAMP offers a unique combination of structure and flexibility that encourages students to develop the independent work-habits of professional writers. CAMP was developed for people with busy lives, children or full-time work who want to pursue their love of writing but otherwise could not. The two aspects of CAMP, community and mentorships, are key to the program. Because writing can be such an isolated activity, CAMP consciously cultivates a community of writers who balance activity with solitude. At advanced levels, CAMP students are eligible to receive one-on-one mentorships with qualified and professional writers. CAMP differs from traditional university/college creative writing programs by offering a non-credit, mostly self-directed course of study that permits writers to learn at their own pace, while still offering structure and guidance as they grow. CAMP also allows those on fixed incomes to trade community service in exchange for study. CAMP students teach in our Dallas Writers In The Schools (WITS) program, provide office and programming assistance and contribute to The Writers' Garret outreach in a myriad of ways. The mission of The Writers' Garret is to foster the development of writers and audiences by putting them in touch with quality literature, each other and the communities in which they live and write. Cool, huh? The Dallas Writers' Garret also presents a very cool literary series called "The Writers Studio" with local NPR station KERA. Check out the authors who will be interviewed this season here: http://www.writersgarret.org/thews.htm. So, to all of you who have been an amazing encouragement to me in the writing department -- Karyn, Diana, Helena, Jenny, Jenny's Dad Bernie, John, Alicen, Sally, Jessica, The Jeffs, The Scotts, Dad, Mom, Karen, Karyn, Aunt Tom, Connie, Becky, The Lauras, Deborah, Cyndi, Cindy, Leslie, Russ, Rachel, Brownlee, Heather, Luellyn, Dana, Dianna, Ms. Z., Donna, Tasha, Sarah, Mary Kathryn, Dotti, Jackson, Lori (I'm watching the Golden Globe Awards and have clearly been whisked away into some sort of acceptance speech moment...) -- I say 'thank you'. I love your feedback and I am constantly changed by you.

authentic community

as fate would have it, the teaching topic at church this morning was "community". but not just any kind of "community". "authentic community". the best kind. the kind that, like the best kind of love, is filled with people with whom we belong. who genuinely care for us. who hold us accountable. it is the kind of relationship that i long for. long. be-long. i believe that it is that kind of longing that lies within each of us that compels us. to do what, you ask? to seek. to satisfy. the longing. when we do not have that longing fulfilled, we start to disintegrate. dis-integrate. to intentionally not belong. or worse, to belong to the wrong. when all parts of us are not working together, integrated, we fall apart. maybe we do not notice it. or we have trained ourselves to believe that the disintegrated "us" is the normal, the default. but i don't think so. i believe that this crazy world we inhabit works constantly and strategically to convince us that we are alone, that we are an island. so that it, with all of its trappings, all of its services and products and programming, can swoop in and be our salvation. when, ironically, what we need to be saved from is that very same world and all that comes with it. take a week off from television. if you really pay attention and give yourself a true visual media sabbatical, when you turn it back on, you will be offended. not necessarily just morally, but at the very core of your being. it might occur to you to question the box, "you think you know me? who do you think i am?". when at precisely the same time of night, it shows you advertisements for an anti-depressant. or a pill to keep your herpes in check. or plays on your emotions to summon up memories of the music of your youth. it does know you. because you turn it on at the same bat-time and same bat-channel each day. or week. and it has someone on its payroll whose only purpose in life is to figure out who you are. what you use. where you go. what you eat. how you feel. when you were born. it's a sobering thought. identity theft does not just occur on paper. it occurs every time we turn on the television. it takes away our ability to relate to others. pay attention. when you are in a room full of people, how much authentic community is taking place if the television is on. there does not even have to be any volume. it still becomes the focus. it takes away all our sense of true human relationship. it works to make us believe we are alone by making itself the only thing we believe we have in common with others. it boasts that it is reality. while depriving us of our own. of this is not to say that there is not worthwhile programming in television. or that sometimes, it's okay to just sit down and vegetate. but maybe we should keep track of how often we do that. and maybe is there not something else we could do that would improve our quality of life for the long term? taking a walk. listening to a song. reading a great book. calling an old friend. baking something. meandering through the new grocery store down the street. i am writing this piece as much to myself as to anyone else i know. i am in the process of forcing myself out of the house. i no longer give myself the right to whine about my lack of relationship(s) when my own reclusivity is the culprit. last night, i went out with a friend -- our first stop was the urbanmarket in downtown dallas -- a lovely little grocery, florist and cafe. then we went to a great little salvadoran/mexican restaurant called Gloria's on greenville avenue. i forgot how much i loved exploring unfamiliar places like that. and i questioned myself about why i was completely comfortable flying to another country and spending months traveling around alone, yet going out in america alone gave me tiny little heart palpitations. and then i heard a quote from George Gallup, "americans are the loneliest people in the world". oh.